5 tips for surviving self-isolation with kids, from the STHS Parenting Center

With both schools and workplaces sending people home during the COVID-19 outbreak, many families are feeling the strain. (Image via Shutterstock)

By Mike Scott, mscott@sths.org

Parents across Louisiana were likely stricken with shortness of breath on Thursday (April 9), but not necessarily because they’ve contracted the COVID-19 coronavirus.

Rather, it was because of the news that the state Board of Elementary and Secondary Education is recommending that Gov. John Bel Edwards order all state public schools closed for the rest of the school year out of continued coronavirus concerns.

That means, after nearly a month of home-schooling and self-isolation, parents can expect to have their little bundles of joy underfoot until the fall session begins.

Before you reach for the Chardonnay, here are five tips to help parents maintain their sanity in the age of coronavirus, from Lori Cage of the St. Tammany Health System Parenting Center, who shared them this week during a guest spot on The Lake 94.7 FM.

Communication first

It’s simple advice, but sometimes we forget it first: Just talk to your kids about what’s going on.

That means parents should feel free to express what they’re feeling, Cage said, but they should also acknowledge what their children are going through.

“I think the biggest thing is that you do just talk to them about it and talk to them about what’s going on with you,” Cage said. “If you’re feeling anxious or tired or aggravated, just say, ‘Hoo, Mommy needs a time out. I’m going to go up to the room over here by myself, (and) just breathe.’

“And also: ‘This is temporary. This isn’t going to be our new life from now on. I know it’s sad you can’t be with your friends and play and do all the regular things -- and (with) the extended family, you’re missing everyone. But it is temporary and we just need to figure out a way to embrace this and get through it and find some silver linings.”

Embracing screen time

During ordinary times, many parents make an effort to limit the amount of screen time their children indulge in daily, whether it’s in front of a TV, videogame, smartphone or tablet.

But, Cage pointed out, these aren’t ordinary times.

And so while it’s still important to limit screen time, this might be a good time to relax those house rules and come up with creative ways to utilize screen time to everyone’s advantage.

“I think it’s just a different world,” Cage said. “Something that people have been doing is visiting with their extended family or friends (via technology). They’ll do Zoom or do some kind of Facetime to play a game together. Maybe (let the kids) do a little scavenger hunt with their friends. The parents can come up with six things to go find: something green, something blue, a clover, a bug. Something like that, that they can do with their friends.  So then you’re still playing – it’s screentime -- but it’s using it in a little different way.”

The kitchen as a classroom

For many people, boredom leads to mindless eating – which can be unhealthy eating. But it doesn’t have to be that way, Cage said.

“Another fun thing is to get your kids involved in helping your prepare the meals and cook,” she said. “We usually stay so busy … and they go their own way when they get home from school. That could be another involvement: ‘What do you want to have for supper?’ And, ‘Let’s figure out how to make it together.’ Get the recipe out and read it. That could also be a little learning experience but a lot of fun.”

Be open and honest

Almost everybody is experiencing some amount of anxiety during the coronavirus crisis, whether that’s over health concerns, financial concerns or simply the loss of a daily routine.

It’s important for parents to remember that extends to children, too, Cage said.

“They feed off of what’s going on with you,” she said. “If you’re really anxious, upset and worried, they’re going to be anxious and upset. And it’s OK to be anxious, but try to do some relaxation techniques or take some time to relax and just discuss it with them: ‘Yeah, I am anxious about this. I know it’s not going to be forever, but we do want to be germbusters.’

“Just tell them what you’re feeling and give them permission to feel it to and be upset. I think it’s a good way to start some conversations, because a lot of kids can’t identify what’s going on with them, with their emotions. They know they’re anxious, they know they’re upset, but they can’t necessarily put their finger on it -- especially the young ones: What is going on? It seems calm because we’re not doing anything, but it seems chaotic because we’re not doing anything.”

Creating a ‘safe space’

For families in which both parents have found themselves working from home amid the outbreak, Cage suggested they “tag team” childcare duties, taking turns retreating to a quiet work space for a couple hours at a time.

But they’re not the only ones who can benefit from a quiet space, she said.

“Alexis Dill, our education coordinator -- if you follow us on the Parenting Center Facebook page, she has posted so much great information – but one thing she said for the kids is to designate just a little safe space,” Cage said. “For the parents, it can be their workspace. For the kids, it can be a tent in a corner or a fort they built or whatever. If they’re feeling anxious, they can go with their favorite toy or Teddy bear and just go kind of calm themselves down, just go to a little quiet space.”

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As a department of St. Tammany Health System, the Center is dedicated to meeting the needs of children and parents. The purpose of this program is to provide a center where parents, through the help of professionally trained staff, can develop parenting skills, thereby maximizing their child’s intellectual, physical, social, emotional, and educational development. Find more information at STPH.org/ParentingCenter.